So what does make us happy? What do we need for happiness?
We can strive for happiness in external things all we like: a loving partner, professional success, a beautiful home, a new car, delicious food or even a shopping spree. But I don’t think these things make us happy, at least not for long, and when they don’t give us continual happiness then we have to keep striving for more, and our happiness is always subject to the whim of these external things and people.
I believe we can also find happiness within. We can learn that we have some amazing things inside us, that they are beautiful if we learn to accept them for what they are — and not try to meet up with any fantasy. We can learn that life is always amazing, as it is, without the fantasies. And because the happiness is within, we aren’t subject to losing it because people aren’t in the right mood, or because of external events changing our source of happiness.
This means stripping away the fantasies, one by one. It means looking within, and learning to be OK with what we find.
It may be a lifelong process, but the happiness is already within us. No fantasies needed.