“Offer it up personally,then. Right now. I thought of how many people go to their graves unforgiven and unforgiving. I thought of how many people have had siblings or friends or children or lovers disappear from their lives before precious words of clemency or absolution could be passed along. How do the survivors of terminated relationships ever endure the pain of unfinished business? From that place of meditation, I found the answer-you can finish the business yourself, from within yourself. It’s not only possible, it’s essential.”
A few months ago I heard someone describe themselves as damaged goods while going through the process of divorce. Of course my immediate response was to say, “Well, welcome to the damaged good’s club. You’ll fit right in.” I guess the eternal optimist in me believed with a good mechanic, a proper part and the right tool – absolutely anything could be repaired. Even me. Then being the determined woman I am, I set on a mission to find this good mechanic. He would certainly know the proper part and the right tool to use in order to fix the destruction left behind from the abandonment I felt from my divorce, right?
The truth is, there is no external resolution that will satisfy a broken heart. Not 29 self help books, not 162 trips to a support group, not a million tears or a good mechanic and most certainly NOT a new relationship. It can only be done through my acceptance.
I must sit with it and accept it, for once in my life. I can only finish the business from within myself.