Remember when I wrote this?
“At what point do I tell the guy I’m dating I have a blog? Immediately? Never? I’m assuming the guy I will be dating doesn’t know about the blog, because what guy would date me after knowing I have this blog? Actually another question to the men: Is this blog a deal breaker?” Schizophrenia – a dating deal breaker?
Now that I’m in a relationship, everyone seems to ask me the same question.
Does “HE” know about your blog?
I somehow knew when I started writing this blog that I was emotionally preparing for the single most important meeting of my life. I wasn’t completely aware but now I know I was testing my willingness to be vulnerable. On the same note, there is nothing anyone could have said to convince me how rapidly and drastically my life would be altered when this meeting arrived. All it took were a few honest words that would lead to the most deep and transparent connection that I have ever had with another human being. Ohhh…yes….I am keenly aware that this all sounds like dramatic, love-addicted nonsense and that some will even write it off as delusional thinking and the stuff of fairy tales. That’s OK.
Remember when I wrote this?
“It’s strange because vulnerability seems to be the core of fear and shame and our struggle for worthiness but it also appears to be the birthplace of joy, creativity and of belonging and love.” Tuesday Truthday – The Big Bad Wolf of Lies
Sometimes life has a way of making us transparent. It’s the whole theory of things come to light. I have had experiences like this in my life that forced me to share a piece of me. Parts of me I did not want certain people to know for different reasons. Maybe I always held out hope knowing at some point in my life everything about me would be revealed to one person. I would rather willingly share myself with others than have something in my life happen that forces me to. It has taken me some time to understand, but this blog was a big step that led me to One Moment like This.
Imagine this…
Meeting someone so familiar where instantly and mutually there are no secrets, no deep voids and you are both so compelled to be transparent that you’re willing to give your power away at every turn. No ego, no one in charge and both with the longing to secure the good of the other person. This is my newly realized definition of love and my personal experience.
I know my happiness and fulfillment will never be dependant on anyone or any one thing but I now believe that some events in life are so powerful and freeing that it turns all the struggle leading up to it right-side-up.
“ God long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now. I was never not coming here. This was never not going to happen.”
Sufi Poem
To answer your question, “Does ‘HE’ know about your blog?”
I’ll let you take a wild guess.
Related articles
- Schizophrenia – a dating deal breaker? (wildgeesethatfly.com)
- Tuesday Truthday – The Big Bad Wolf of Lies (wildgeesethatfly.com)
- On Transparency (holyhipster.wordpress.com)
Sounds like you have learned a lot. Thanks for sharing your story.
I have learned that something really beautiful is possible and I wish the same for everyone else.
Transparency is so tough to master, but totally worth it when you do. I’m thinking if he doesn’t know about the blog, he should because you’re pretty darn cool. As for me? Yep, he knows all about the blog and teases me mercilessly about it every day. And that’s one of the reasons I love him so much.
You are so kind, Tameri. Good for him, I’m sure he adores you for it.
wonderful perspective!
Thank you, sincerely and thanks for reading.
Meeting someone so familiar where instantly and mutually there are no secrets, no deep voids and you are both so compelled to be transparent that you’re willing to give your power away at every turn. No ego, no one in charge and both with the longing to secure the good of the other person. This is my newly realized definition of love and my personal experience.
That paragraph show such mature openess that it actually thrills me.
That is quite the compliment, thank you! It is a revelation to me that I am capable of being in a loving, honest and healthy relationship after all. Who knew?
So, my question is: what will become of the blog now?
My blog was never solely about dating, so it will continue. Maybe I’ll write more about my experience of love instead.
“This was never not going to happen”- Love that line!
It couldn’t be more true to me and that’s why I love Sufi poems!
I thoroughly enjoyed this! Great work.
You have a smooth, easy-going style.
Its is really a coincidence, When i started following your blog, this was one of the first posts I read and admired. And as I got into a similar situation recently where I am wondering when I should tell her about my own blog. I logged in for some perspective and when reading this post, I now have a better idea on how and when I am comfortable and at what point I think she’s ready to read me. I thank you for this post, its actually been really helpfull, its a situation that definatley requires a certain carefull approach, and step one is definatley and postively recognition of the issue itself. Thanks again and once again I do enjoy your blog, concepts, and writing style! Blessings, ManDogTruck