My life as described by the Suburban Dictionary

1. blonde ambition recovering from Barbie blonderexia

Definition;

a brunette that thinks blonde hair will make them more attractive, therefore they spend thousands of dollars a year on highlights to become blonde. They are not satisfied with the boring color they were born with BUT have now fought off the compulsion to being so addicted to bleaching their hair that it’s white, flat and as monochromatic as Barbie.

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2. workalurkering workaholic with a workalanche

 Definition;

A person who between working too hard when they SHOULD be on vacation AND  includes various combinations of Facebook and twitter stalking in their daily work-life AND  has a pile of “to do” stuff on their desk that gets so big it slides off and onto the floor, or chair or hapless victim.

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3. blogged-down with blogger guilt

Definition;

Used to describe a person that uses their blog or commenting on blogs to keep them from interacting with reality -WHILE- maintaining a constant fit of guilt, physical discomfort that occurs when they are too busy with an actual social or professional life to properly update their WordPress blog. Particularly prevalent in those who use weblogs as coping mechanisms.

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4. gluten for punishment

Definition;

the act of being ill from eating gluten and staging a stand-off with the toxic food industry by eating only salads and eggs – and using it as an excuse to never cook for your date.

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5. one upper downer

Definition;

Someone who tries constantly to out-do your bad personal experiences with their own bad stories, which in their eyes, is always worse.

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AND FINALLY…

6.  suburban online-socialite

Definition;

Usually used to describe someone who believes they can accomplish whatever the hell they want in life EXCEPT sell their house located near a strip mall on the out-skirts of town because they are upside down on their mortgage BUT like to make their life look like a giant string of down-town happy hours on Facebook.

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16 thoughts on “My life as described by the Suburban Dictionary

  1. My god! You have over five-hundred followers. What… Can they not type!? If I had even a tenth as many follower, I would hope that the bastards might leave a bloody comment now and then. :-(

    I feel better now for getting that out.

    Great post. Brilliant, as always :-)

  2. Pingback: Meet my boyfriend – as described by the Suburban Dictionary |

  3. haha!! I’m so number 2!! workalurkering workaholic with a workalanche, now I know the proper name :-). I’m always working in a thousand things and always delayed with my work.

    I just discovered your blog, it’s really cool stuff!!

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