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Flirting 101 – Take-Aways
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Grow a soul patch.
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Flirt with children.
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Ask if it’s alright to eat her eyeballs.
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Flirt by role playing your future divorce.
When these tips work and you successfully land your first date with her by using the Blueberry Eyeballs Technique, here are some First Date tips to follow:
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Show up.
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Reserve the jealous, moody wild eyed crazy look for the second date.
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Wear all black so she knows you’re serious.
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Be honest – Go ahead and tell her you are a man whore.
When it all goes horribly wrong and she doesn’t return your text message asking her out on a second date, don’t assume you did anything wrong. Whatever you do, don’t analyze it to death. She may just be busy alluding her stalker-ex-boyfriend, she may have just gotten assigned to a massive project at work that requires 2 months travel to Transylvania, her cat may be having some dental work done, she may have been captured by aliens and is recovering from intensive probing…you have no idea. The important thing to remember is to just let it go and don’t beat yourself up about it.
If you find yourself still obsessing about it, please visit my friend’s blog post for today SnarkySnatch – Think you might be Wackadoo? Let WotWentWrong tell you.
Related articles- Disney Beards Now Allowed (blippitt.com)
- Dating for Dummies in 4 Easy Steps (wildgeesethatfly.com)
- Dating for Dummies in 4 Easy Steps – The Flip Side (wildgeesethatfly.com)
- Single, Taking over the World and Crazy Cat Therapy (wildgeesethatfly.com)
Best reason yet!: My cats having dental work…
True story! (;
I nominated you for two awards because I really enjoy your blog and appreciate you sharing your experiences. You can find the rules to accepting the awards here http://narcissistsblog.wordpress.com/2012/01/28/my-head-is-so-big-i-may-be-stuck-in-the-house-for-a-while/.
Congratulations!
Thank you, my dear!
I’ll have to pass on these fabulous excuses to my poor single daughter who has had many first dates from hell. I’m sure she’ll find occasion to use them.
I’m sure she has a few to share with me as well. Thanks so much for reading!
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